Am I the only one who laughs...

while reading this article about a bird bandit?

GRESHAM -- A man marked with beak bites on his hands was arrested on a MAX train by officers searching for a bird bandit in Gresham.

>snip<

“It seems that birds don’t enjoy being grabbed and put into coats and jackets, and have a tendency to bite when that happens. Thomas had some injuries to his hands and arms that appeared to be consistent with a beak bite,” he explained.

Take that, you stupid thief!